How to Talk to Your Boss or HR About Menopause: 9 Tips + Scripts
The short answer: book a private meeting, explain which symptoms you're experiencing and how they affect your workplace, and come with two or three practical adjustments you'd like to try. Then put what you agree on in writing and review it regularly. You don't have to use the word "menopause" if you don't want to, and you never need to apologise.
My menopause journey wasn't easy.
I didn't know what was going on - I didn't know it was menopause until after I'd been through it - and I ended up leaving my senior role in financial services due to my symptoms and lack of support and understanding.
I don't want that to happen to you or anyone else.
Since my experience of menopause, I've been working to increase awareness of menopause, particularly in the workplace, as the effects of dealing with menopause at work can be devastating.
As you can imagine, managing menopause symptoms while trying to maintain your sense of self, focus, and retain your level of skill at work can feel like an impossible task.
I'm here to reassure you that it is not impossible!
One of the best solutions is to begin with a conversation with a certified Menopause Champion, a line manager, Occupational occupational health or HR colleague who is trained in menopause signposting and support, or a qualified Menopause Coach.
All should be able to outline your options and, in different ways, help you begin to create your own personal menopause plan.
Speaking to your boss about menopause in work might feel uncomfortable, but open communication is how you get the support you need.
9 Tips for Effective Menopause Conversations
1. Choose the right time and place.
Have this conversation somewhere private where you feel comfortable and won't be interrupted. Book the time in advance so your boss can give you their full attention.
I found going out for a walk helped avoid distractions and kept the conversation focused.
2. Be honest and direct
Don't beat around the bush. Your boss may not pick up on vague references.
Explain what you're experiencing, how it makes you feel and how it's affecting your work. They may already have noticed some changes and be relieved to understand why.
3. Focus on the symptoms and their impact.
Rather than only saying you're going through menopause, talk about the symptoms you're experiencing now, how they affect your work, and what challenges might lie ahead.
This helps your boss understand why you need support and why you can't always predict what you'll need in the future or for how long.
4. Come prepared with solutions.
This matters most if menopause isn't yet talked about in your organisation. Your boss may not know much about it, and there may be no menopause policy. Bring a few ideas (see the list of adjustments below). Share this post with your boss if you find it hard to be assertive about your needs.
5. Be open to alternative solutions.
You might not be the first person to raise menopause, and your boss may suggest options you hadn't considered. Be open to them, but don't feel pressured into an "easy option" if it doesn't feel right for you.
6. Don't apologise
Menopause is a natural stage of life, and there is NO need to apologise for it. You are valued, and you deserve support.
7. Put it in writing.
After the meeting, send a short email summarising what you discussed and what was agreed. It protects you both and gives you something to review together.
8. Follow up
What's important to you might not be at the top of everyone's list... yet. Check in to make sure the agreed solutions are happening, share the positive impact they're having, and flag any changes in your symptoms or needs.
You don't need to stick with a plan that's no longer useful just because it worked at first.
9. Seek additional support.
Whatever you agree on at work, don't hesitate to get extra support from HR, occupational health, your GP, family and friends. You deserve a good working life as much as anyone else.
What to Say: Conversation Scripts
Asking for the meeting: "Could we book 30 minutes somewhere private this week? There's something affecting my work I'd like to talk through, and I'd value your support."
Opening the conversation with your boss: "I'm going through perimenopause/menopause, and some of the symptoms are affecting my work, particularly poor sleep / concentration / hot flushes. I want to keep doing my job well, so I've thought about a few things that would help."
If you'd rather not say "menopause": "I'm dealing with a health issue that's affecting my sleep and concentration. I'd like to talk about some small adjustments that would help me keep performing at my best."
Talking to HR or occupational health: "I'd like to understand what support is available for menopause. Do we have a policy, and could I have an occupational health referral to discuss adjustments?"
The follow-up email: "Thanks for your time today. To confirm, we agreed (adjustment 1) and (adjustment 2), and we'll review how it's going on [date]."
Workplace Adjustments You Can Ask For
A desk near a window or a desk fan
Flexible start and finish times, especially after poor sleep
Regular short breaks, plus access to cold water and toilets
Breathable or optional uniform
Working from home on difficult days
Written follow-ups to meetings, to help with brain fog
A temporary shift in workload or deadlines
Time off for medical appointments
Your Rights at Work (UK)
Menopause isn't a protected characteristic in its own right. However, if you're treated unfairly because of menopause symptoms, you may be protected under the Equality Act 2010 on the grounds of sex, age or, where symptoms are long-term and substantial, disability. Both ACAS and the Equality and Human Rights Commission publish guidance that expects employers to make reasonable adjustments.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to tell my employer I'm going through menopause? No. You choose what to share. But explaining your symptoms makes it much easier for your employer to support you.
Should I talk to my boss or HR first? Usually your line manager can agree on day-to-day adjustments. If you're not comfortable with that, go to HR, occupational health or a Menopause Champion.
What if my manager is dismissive? Stay calm, keep a written record, and take it to HR. Ask whether your organisation has a menopause policy.
Can I be dismissed because of menopause symptoms? Treating someone unfairly because of menopause symptoms may amount to discrimination. Speak to HR, ACAS or an employment adviser if you're worried.
Help Your Organisation Get It Right
Suggest to your boss that there are simple ways to improve menopause support at work.
Our Become a Menopause Champion course is an excellent first step. It gives dedicated, knowledgeable people in your business the skills they need in just half a day.
The Become a Menopause Coach diploma is ideal for those who want to fully support others through menopause. Many of our coaches come from corporate or HR backgrounds.
Having a conversation with your boss about menopause may feel slightly, or even very, uncomfortable.
Remember, your boss or team leader values the work you do and wants to support you.
Knowing more about menopause in general and what you need in particular is important for your enjoyment and well-being at work.
You deserve it!
I'd love to hear your reflections on this blog and how I can help you and your organisation to become menopause-savvy AND supportive.
Your coach, trainer and menopause champion,
Lauren
Photo credits:
Photo by Martin Grincevschi on Unsplash
Photo by Miquel Parera on Unsplash
